致命的大错
'Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10.'
'Qualifications: No education or experience.'
'I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy.'
'My compensation should be at least equal to my age.'
'Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC.'
'Fired because I fought for lower pay.'
'Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5' .
' 'Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date.'
'Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near.'
'Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately.'
打字错误与语法错误
'Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.'
'Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.'
'I am a rabid typist.'
'Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981.'
'After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work.'
'Accounting cleric.'
'As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments.'
'Suspected to graduate early next year.'
'Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.'
'Proven ability to track down and correct erors.'
'Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.'
'Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.'
'Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.'
不应有的幽默
'Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house.'
'Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting.' (Translation: Short-order cook.)
'But wait...there's more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature.'
'I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.'
'My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job'-and I like your company in particular.'
'Title: Another resume from the 'Profiles in Excellence' series.'
'Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it.'
'Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks.'
'Let's meet so you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my experience.'
编辑：Vivian
